What About When It's Over?

Folks are starting to ask about January. It's coming soon, after all, and our close friends know that we're waiting for 1.1.2011 to bust loose and buy all the things we've been missing for the last year. So they are starting to ask... "What are you going to buy first?"

I wish I could say honestly that we haven't started thinking about that. I wish I could say we've been completely transformed and will never think about shopping the same way again, but this would be a lie. We've learned a lot - a whole lot. But we're ready.

Actually we're so ready that we realize we're in a danger zone. In some ways, not shopping has become a way of life. I imagine it will feel a little weird to have new clothes or shoes hanging in my closet, or new earrings to wear to work. It might actually take me awhile to ease back into that kind of shopping. But the one area we've waited patiently to reinstate is Home Improvement, and we can't wait to get started.

We have a long list... a dangerously long list of things we'd like to do to the house starting- quite possibly- January 3rd (we'll be home in RI until the 2nd). This list includes ripping up our back porch and building a new one, renovating both bathrooms, taking on a massive closet re-do, painting just about every room in the house, and some very labor-intensive landscaping in the front yard. We've been daydreaming and planning for these renovations for months, but only in our fantasy-land. We have not adequately prepared for these projects by, say, setting aside money for them or being sure that we know what we're doing enough to not trip into even more projects and spending.

Fortunately, as January approaches we can start to put the brakes on just a bit. I think we realize how careful we'll have to be, and the last thing we want is to have to do another Stuff Stand-off in 2012 to recover from 2011. We can take on some projects around the house, but not all, and we have to decide carefully what is worth it for us to take on.

So the big word around our house starting in the new year will be restraint. Yes, we'll want to dive right in. Yes, we miss Lowe's like we miss our family members. Yes, we're desperate to go all sledgehammer on a wall or sink or porch. But we have to remember what we've learned, and instead try to be moderate, sensible, and thoughtful about what comes first.

So what about when it's over? Well, in the end we might start with new sneakers for Jonathan, which at the moment are higher priority than a new deck, bathroom, closet, front yard, etc. Novel idea - buy what you really need, instead of what you really want. And then, well, we might just have to wait another month or two before we can make a decision...

I want to go shopping.

Before I get into that, I should probably acknowledge the fact that I'm the world's worst blogger. I mean, I only took on this endeavor for one year - you would think I could keep up with a blog for that time! Given that it has been almost three whole months since my last entry however, it appears this is something that does not come naturally to me.

Well, neither does not shopping. This Stand-off was a cute idea and everything, but it's getting old.

Maybe it's the breach in the Stand-off that has me itching for it to be over. Yes, there was a breach. We were traveling to New Jersey for a wedding, and we stopped in DC to stay with friends there on our way up. We brought our dress clothes in from the car while we spent the night, and I said to my friend on several occasions, "I cannot forget these clothes here, because we can't go shopping if I do!" The next morning I was careful to grab the dry cleaning bag of dress clothes and we headed north to Jersey. We were two hours into our drive when my friend called. "Um, Meaghan..." she said, "your dress is still in my closet."

I thought she was kidding with me, to be honest. I had been so careful, after all, to grab the dress clothes before we left. But I had taken the dress out of the bag to show it to her, and after doing that I had returned it to a different rack of her walk-in closet. ACK!

So we're a few hours from New Jersey, and a few and a half hours from wedding time and I have nothing to wear. We pulled out my iphone (which I am using again - that story is another blog entry I missed over the last few months) and google-mapped a mall. Finding one along our current route, we resigned ourselves to the fact that we were going to have to buy something. Jonathan pulled the car up to an Ann Taylor, I ran in and tried on a few dresses, and then 10 minutes later ran out wearing my new black dress and jumped in the car for the last hour of the drive.

We had a great time at the wedding, and the dress was just right for the occasion. But we did feel badly that in a matter of moments we had to abandon our Stand-off for one night in New Jersey.

Here's the funny thing about the dress though. When my sister Kate was visiting a couple of weeks ago, I let her take the dress in case she wanted to wear it to a wedding she was going to. She didn't end up wearing it, and two weeks ago she sent it to me in the mail from Massachussetts. I have still seen no sign of this dress. We're far past the 5-7 day delivery promise of the United States Postal Service. It's like the dress just disappeared into space. As if somehow, the universe knew that I wasn't meant to have that dress. That in a year of no shopping there shouldn't be a pretty black Ann Taylor dress that still smells a little bit new hanging in my closet. Well damn the universe - I want my dress! (that's the dress right there)


At any rate, that purchase was a month ago and I'm jonesing for more. Jonathan and I find ourselves looking at the calendar, hoping that we can just wish the days away between now and January. We have home improvement to do, and shoes to buy. I have several pairs of pants that are starting to look battered and worn. Today when we pulled into downtown I looked at a store advertising 75% off all summer shoes and I turned to Jonathan and said, "Let's just give up and go shopping."

We didn't give up though. We went to a wedding instead. A wedding that I did not wear my new black dress to. I just hope whoever has my dress is enjoying it. It has only been worn one time!

We'll stick with this until January, and maybe we'll go through another patch where both the blogging and the Stand-off come a little bit easier. But for now, I'll be dreaming of new shoes...

Inspired to Simplify (and a lost cell phone charger)

Here's the thing about the Stuff Stand-off: it inspires me to simplify. Now that we've started to limit our stuff intake, we've found ourselves wanting to downsize, downgrade, or just plain get rid of all kinds of things around us. We've pored through our wardrobes getting rid of clothes we no longer wear. We've decided to donate our desktop computer (more on that in another post) and the desk it sits on because the laptop at the dining room table suffices. We've canceled our land line and are getting rid of that phone. We've given away furniture and various other items from around the house. And, my most recent decision, I've technologically regressed and decided to change the nature of my relationships with my iphone and go back to an old-fashioned flip phone. That's right, the kind that makes calls and sends text messages, and that's about it (ok, it has an alarm, but my iphone could practically do my laundry, so an alarm is nothing).

A month or so ago I started thinking about getting rid of my iphone in part because of a meditation my rector led at a vestry meeting. We talked about how messed up we are getting because of our constant technological stimulation, and how our ability to focus was waning because of how often we have our head in our phone, computer, whatever. I immediately related to this, as I have an unhealthy relationship with the iphone to be sure. My husband jokes that it's the third party in our relationship. Haha. But seriously? He's kind of right. I mean, this device can do ANYTHING! How can I not love it? How can I leave it behind when we go out for dinner? What if I want to show him a picture I took that day? What if we wanted to email that picture to his parents so they could see? What if we wanted to go to a movie - how would we know the show times without the phone? What if something significant had happened in the news that day and I needed to see the New York Times? What if we got lost on the way to the restaurant and needed my GPS? I mean, think of all the things that can go wrong without the iphone!...

...so you see what I mean. It was getting to be a little much. And I decided that I wasn't nearly as important as my iphone makes me think I am. I get work emails, sure, but they are mostly about scheduling outreach meetings or pool party RSVPs. When someone really needs me, they can call me. On my flip phone.

To be fair though, there was something else that went into the decision to downgrade. While I was going back and forth about getting rid of the thing, and starting to lean towards keeping it (loving it, writing a song about it, dancing with it in the kitchen), this other thing happened. I went away to a conference and left my charger there. Oops.

Now I still have a cord at work that connects the phone to the computer to sync and charges it simultaneously. And I have a car charger, which I thought would be enough. But as it turns out, I'm not in my car or at my desk for long enough periods of time to charge the thing. The battery starting showing as dangerously low all the time. After a week of driving around town in my car just to charge the battery I decided that the universe was telling me something.

Back when I had first had the idea to downgrade I had made a plea on Facebook for an old AT&T phone because of course, I couldn't buy one. No one responded, which is when I elatedly decided to stick with what I had. Then a few days ago one of my parishioners showed up at church with a couple of options for me. So I was kind of out of excuses. I also realized that I could still use my iphone for some of it's fun features - as an ipod, to play movies, and for my little friend Emma to play piano and bubbles. But it wouldn't function as a phone. Basically, that means not being able to check my email, or the news, or You Tube, or whatever at any hour of the day from any location. Which in the long run, might just be better for me and my pscyche.

In the end, it's not just the phone I'm downgrading, but my sense of importance. The world will not fall apart if I can't check my email every hour. I can find other ways to get movie show times. And the best part? If people want to schedule something with me they'll have to email me at the office. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be more careful about how I schedule my time.

We'll see how this works. I feel a little funny with this regular little phone, and I can't send a text message in under ten minutes to save my life. But I'm confident I'll get better. There is something remarkably freeing about it all. My husband comes home from a mission trip tonight, and I can't wait to tell him there's only two of us in the marriage again...

Michael's Framing Sale

Before I dive into this blog entry, I have to say... May 20th??? That was seriously the last time I wrote? I've got to be the world's worst blogger. I'm in awe of those folks out there who can work a full time job and keep up with the blog scene. Me, I've been storing up blog entries for weeks in my head, and of course now that I'm sitting in front of the computer with a little bit of free time (shh! don't tell anyone!) I can't remember most of them!

I'll dive into one of the topics I do remember though, as this particular item is something I have the pleasure of seeing every day!

When you get ordained, you get a fancy-schmancy ordination certificate. It's got nice calligraphy, a diocesan seal on it, and maybe a ribbon. They are pretty. And even though it's just a piece of paper, when you spend six years waiting to get ordained, said paper feels pretty good. One of the bonuses of being Episcopalian is that you have two ordinations - diaconate and priestly - and consequently two fancy-schmancy certificates. I've been admiring my friend's certificates for years now - it has been three years since we were all ordained. But I have been unable to admire my own because... well I didn't have it.

Evidently the diocese was in a time of transition right about when I got ordained. The person who had always done the calligraphy for the certificates could no longer do it, and they had yet to find someone new. When they finally did get someone new, my ordinations had long since passed. My certificates were finished, but then, as far as I know, waited in a draw for the Bishop's seal and signature. Then after they had the neccessary seals and signings, they sat in a drawer waiting to be mailed.

Now in fairness to everyone involved, we church folk are pretty busy, and I can see why a certificate would not be high on anyone's priority list. I don't blame the Bishop's secretary for losiong track of them, and I hadn't called myself. But I did wonder about them sporadically. A few months ago I finally remembered to call during business hours to check on them and see if there was any chance they could grace my walls all these years later. In less than a week a tube with the certificates showed up at my office in North Carolina. I admit, I was thrilled to have them.

No sooner had I opened and admired them that I realized they would have to go BACK into the tube until 2011 when I could finally have them framed. Bummer. But I figured, what's a few more months at this point? And that was that. I showed them to my husband so he could see, and then prepared myself to forget about them.

Then I went away for a week in early June to see a friend. And when I returned, Jonathan had a surprise for me: he had made a frame for one of my certificates! I was super excited. The best part of this is that the frame he made is gorgeous - mahogany and cherry (or is it curly maple? shoot... one or the other), and it's custom made for my print, leaving space for the seal and ribbon. It is beautiful. And if I had had a custom frame like that made for me it would have cost us an arm and a leg! Here I was just going to hit one of the sales at Michael's, and still pay a bunch of money! But instead, I have this wonderful custom frame, made with all supplies from our house. We simply took the glass out of an old frame we don't use anymore for the new frame. How cool is that?

Everytime I look at the thing now (and it hangs directly above my desk, so I look at it often) I'm overwhelmed with gratitude towards my thoughtful and talented husband, and towards our little Stand-off, which has now offered me something I never might have had otherwise. Let's hear it for creativity being born out of necessity!

A loophole? Or just plain wrong?

I find myself faced with a dilemma on this beautiful Thursday morning when all my Sacred Studies classes have been cancelled for Spring Musical practice (which is amazing!). I was approached by one of the parents from the Day School today, who handed me a bag of small gifts as part of teacher appreciation week. There were three small soap bars, each a different fragrance, and then another small bag with some things in it that I couldn't see. I have just opened the bag, and there's a gift certificate for The Country Bookshop, which I have blogged about before. It's for $15, just enough to buy myself a nice new paperback book, soft floppy pages and all.

I realize now, of course, that we did not build any rules about gift cards into our Stuff Stand-off. We have rules about accepting gifts - that being that we get rid of something in our house as an exchange. I just ran out of soap the other day, and toiletries haven't really been part of the Stand-off, so I feel like I'm okay there. But the gift card compels me to go to the store and purchase a thing that I would then bring into my home. Does it qualify as a gift? Or am I just looking for a good reason to go into my favorite store in town and buy myself something nice and new for the first time in almost five months?

I suppose I can contact the store and find out what their expiration date is on a gift card. But honestly, the likelihood of my remembering that I even have the thing tucked into my desk someplace is slim to none. Or I guess I could give the card to someone else and let them use it instead of me. But I have worked pretty hard with the kids this year, and am certainly not opposed to a little appreciation at the end of a long year. ::BIG SIGH:: I don't know what to do. But I'm open to suggestion... help?

Alleluia! The pants have risen!

This post is proof that magical things can happen in your closet if you just leave your clothes in there for long enough.

Allow me to explain. When I first started my job here, I went shopping for some clothes that I could wear for work (I was, of course, happy to have an excuse to shop). I bought three of four pairs of pants from New York & Co., which admittedly is not well-known for its finely made and durable clothing. The pants worked out fine for my first year, and a little bit into my second, but last spring when I would try to put those pants on I found that they just weren't working for me anymore. They were a little too short - one of my least favorite qualities in an article of clothing. I'm not sure what the reason for the shrinking was. I think, perhaps, I might have gotten larger, and not the pants smaller, but I'd much rather think that something just went wrong in the laundry process. Or perhaps I'd just gotten taller, and not wider.

Nevertheless, it seemed that it was time to get rid of some of these pairs of pants that are just taking up space in my closet, taunting me. A couple of weeks ago I reached for the pants to give them away in a donation drive that I was doing at the school, but I just couldn't bring myself to part with them yet. I thought maybe, just maybe, they could be the pants I had enjoyed one again.

This morning, feeling a little desperate and out of clean laundry, (ok, it's clean, I just haven't put any of it away) I reached for a pair of the pants, thinking maybe, somehow, they would fit properly.

AND THEY DID!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know how to explain this miracle. Perhaps my pants intuitively knew that this is a season of resurrection, and they felt inspired. Perhaps my width has diminished just enough that they have an extra half an inch at the end. Perhaps I finally have the perfect pair of flats that leave the pants fitting just right. Whatever the reason, it felt amazing pulling them on and having them button with no problem and then reach just the perfect part of my ankle. It was a glorious moment on an otherwise unremarkable morning.

Probably this won't help my general outlook on clothing. Chances are now I will just leave clothing that no longer fits in the closet for years at a time hoping for another magic day when a different shirt or pair of pants decides to resurrect itself. Maybe I should try on old small clothing only during the Easter season. Either way, for a girl who can't buy herself any new pants right now, this was a very good day indeed.

LOST

Back in January, it actually snowed here in the metropolis of Southern Pines. We've seen it happen here before, but on one otherwise unremarkable Saturday it started coming down and showed no signs of stopping... at least for a couple of hours. I was excited to have a good reason to snuggle up inside in my sweatpants for the day, especially because January is generally one of my busier months at work (though lately I'm starting to question my logic on that - which month isn't super busy?). Jonathan and I were enjoying the day when the unthinkable happened: I got a phone call from the rector telling me that CHURCH was canceled the next day because of the snow. Which of course meant that the adult forum, my after-church meeting, and youth group were canceled as well. This event was perhaps superior to any Christmas morning that I have ever experienced. I love church and all (obviously) but there is nothing like being clergy and finding out that you are spending a Sunday morning at home in your sweats with a cup of coffee. Suddenly, rather than scoffing or judging my fellow Southerners, I was simply elated to live in a community that closes up shop for days following a little snow. It was amazing.

That Monday the town was still closed down. No school, no church, nothing open or happening. It was still exciting to have a third day off, but understand that Jonathan and I are normally extremely busy people. We aren't accustomed to having three days in a row in the house. By that Monday cabin fever had started to kick in a little, and we were getting restless.

Desperately looking for something to do, we turned to our recently purchased Roku, which was our last major purchase before the Stuff Stand-off. Roku gives us access through our television to all of the movies that are available for instant viewing on Netflix.com. Sounds incredible, right? We thought so too. But as it turns out, Netflix isn't stupid, and all of the movies available for instant viewing really aren't the movies you really want to watch. Not that I don't love the 80s or anything - because boy do I. But I also like watching movies from this decade, and movies that actually made it to the theater. We felt limited in our options that day.

The one thing Netflix does offer is every season (save but the current one) of the show LOST. Jonathan and I had never seen it before, and we'd been curious. We had noticed that there was a slightly cult-like following to the show. Having a whole new day stretching before us with no activities planned, we went ahead and pressed play on Season 1, Episode 1. And the rest is history.

Fast forward to today. Just over three months later we've plowed through 5 seasons of the show, and we're determined to catch up to this current season before the series finale which we think happens later this month. And I'll tell you what has been lost: lots and lots of hours, a good deal of sleep for me, and any effective medidation time. You see, I tend to latch on to images and intense plots in a pretty serious way. I can't watch a show like LOST and then crawl into bed and fall fast asleep. Not when planes are falling out of the sky and the Others are coming and they don't know what year it is. I lay in the silence at night, or again in the morning, and even sometimes at church on Sunday (I admit it!) and think only of my friends on that island... replaying the scenes in my head or wondering what will happen next. It's completely ridiculous. But I don't know what else to do but just keep watching. Then, at least, it will be over, and I can get my life back.

So what does this have to do with the Stuff Stand-off? I'm glad you asked. The other day while Jonathan and I were watching just one more episode, we saw the episode description "in the landmark 100th episode..." Um, 100? Out of curiosity, we did some quick math. "So we've spent over 70 hours watching this show since January?" Jonathan asked. I cringed. "It's no wonder we've been bragging about how easy this Stuff Stand-off is," I said back to him, "who has time to shop?"

Here's the lesson here, folks: It is remarkably easy to replace one obsession with another. So easy, in fact, that you might not even realize you've done it until it's too late, and the whole first part of the year has come and gone and you've spent almost all of it glued to the television wondering how the hell they're ever going to get off that island. I remember many posts ago pondering how we might spend our time now that we won't be shopping and renovating our home, but I did not think that LOST was going to come into the equation. I more thought that we'd go for walks, visit museums, or find different activities to fill our days.

We'll plow through the rest of this current season, because we are really eager to see how this show will end. But I can't wait for it to be over. And we'll be a little more cautious moving forward that the things we do fill our time with aren't going to quickly slide into obsession.

That said, I have to go. I could have watched a whole episode in the time it took me to write this!