Books

Of all the things I've missed buying since we started the Stuff Stand-off, books are actually the thing I miss the most. This was a surprise to me, because I might have otherwise guessed shoes or clothing. But it's books... books are what I long for.

I just love going to bookstores, particularly privately owned ones like The Country Bookshop in downtown Southern Pines. The Country Bookshop has older wooden floors that creak under your feet, and beautiful shelves that have books sorted by topics more specific and fun than just "fiction" or "biography". The staff is friendly and kind, the Girl Scouts sell cookies outside, and the doors are usually thrown open to let the warm weather inside. It's paradise there. I love to go in and pick up the books just to feel them in my hands. And then, after I've touched them all and felt the pages and read the slip cover, I choose one or two to buy and take home - a small piece of paradise on my bed side table. I just love new books.

Sadly, I ran out of my new books about a month ago. I had some that I hadn't caught up with, but when the Stand-off started I went ahead and read them. Now I'm all out. And I'm longing for a fresh new book, especially one of those ones where the pages are all floppy and they have that little jagged edge along the outside - do you know what I mean? They feel so good in your hands. But I can't have them. I go to the bookstore to visit my friend Bonnie who works there, or to buy Girl Scout cookies, or just to smell the place - but I cannot buy. It's killing me.

Trying to overcome my need for new books, I took a trip to the Southern Pines library today. I haven't gone to the library for something other than a specific school book or a book on cd for a road trip since I was a little girl. I thought I might discover that I actually love the library, and that there was a whole FREE world available to me at any time (or at least during their limited business hours).

Instead, to my dismay, I found myself a little overwhelmed there. When shopping for clothing, I'm much more likely to go to Ann Taylor or Banana Republic than I am to go to Marshalls or TJ Maxx. Even though I know I can get great clothes at cheaper prices at Marshalls, I can't hack the shopping experience. I don't have what it takes to go through rack after rack, pushing through the jeans I'd never wear to find the one pair of Seven's that I could never otherwise afford. I lose my patience in those stores, and I give up after lame attempts at finding something good. Other friends of mine come home with pieces that I all but drool over. But I don't know how they do it. And I can't seem to do it myself. No, I need a store where the clothes are begging for me to buy them. I need them to be laid out with pants and a necklace that would accent each piece. I need all the sizes for one shirt to be in the same color in the same place so I can find the very one I need without walking to another part of the store. I need the space between aisles and displays to wander and dance to the music that is playing in the store. I need it to be easy.

What I found at the library was an experience akin to being at Marshalls. Are there lots and lots and lots of great books that I can take home for free? Yes. Did I have the patience to wander up and down the aisles looking for them? No. How could I decide what book to take when I can't see the covers? If they are only in "fiction" how can I know really what type of book it is and whether or not I want to read it? And why can't I have access to all the new and pretty books that they have in the bookstore? Anything I find at the library has already been out for a while. It just wasn't new enough, or exciting enough. The books weren't begging me to borrow them the way the books in the Country Bookshop beg me to buy them.

Wanting to leave quickly (as is always the case at Marshalls) I went straight to the authors that I know I like and grabbed two books. Now I'll admit, checking them out was pretty cool now that there's a 'do it yourself' counter. And then I waltzed right out the door, nothing needed but my key chain library card. It is nice to not pay. But I'm still a little worried about my relationship with the library. I'm going to need to figure out a way to find the good books in there without getting lost and impatient. I'm going to have to find a better way, and learn to love the high shelves that go on and on and on. I'm not giving up reading for the year. So me and the library, we're going to have to work this thing out...