Well this particular entry is being written from Costa Rica, where I'm traveling with a group from church for a mission trip. I'm extremely happy to be here, but have discovered that not only does Costa Rica have stuff, it has stuff I really want to buy!
But let me backtrack first and tell you about a stuff run-in I had on Thursday in downtown Southern Pines. On my way to get lunch at That's-a-Deli, I saw my friend Carolyn's car parked outside. Thinking she might have gone into RiverJacks (Southern Pines' great outdoor gear shop - my favorite!) for some supplies for our trip, I went in looking for her. I didn't find her, but I did find another friend who was there looking for supplies for a separate Costa Rica trip. Yelling to her I moved towards where she was, and it took a couple of seconds for the reality of the situation to sneak up on me - I was in the shoe department!!!! This is the worst possible place to be if you can't buy anything, because they have the finest shoes around. Cringing, I ran my hands over the leather and laces, pining after the sporty shoes, the work shoes, the North Face shoes... all of which I could have justified purchasing. But before I could get into any trouble I pulled my hand back quickly as if on a hot stove, said goodbye to Nancy, and moved next door to the deli. And I looked at that Cuban sandwich longingly like I could will it into being a shoe.
I survived though, and the next day left for the Rica. But there is SO much great stuff here - and we haven't even gotten to the souvenir-buying part of the trip! Wouldn't Jonathan love a t-shirt from this cool university where we stay? Wouldn't it be wonderful to bring back some beautiful beaded necklace to remind me of this particular mission trip? Shouldn't I do my part, as a tourist, to support the local economy? I confess - I'm a little more challenged than I thought I would be.
But I will stay strong. And instead of shopping, I'll write in my journal. Perhaps then, a few years from now, if I want some token or reminder from this trip, I can just read about it, close my eyes, and remember what it felt like to be here. I'm thinking that will be the greatest gift I can give myself while I'm here. Even if the trip would have seemed better if I had been wearing new shoes...
Adios Amigos!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Off to Durham we go...
The thing about doing the Stuff Stand-off in Southern Pines is that it's not that hard to avoid fabulous shopping experiences here in the Sandhills. While this area is changing and growing quickly, we've hardly exploded with shopping malls where any item you could wish for is available at all times. We have the basics - Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Best Buy, Walmart... but we're lacking some of my personal favorites: REI, Ann Taylor, and Target. So it's hardly a shopper's dream. Our biggest obstacle is to stay out of the hardware store, but that's easy enough to achieve because my biggest itch these days is to get my hands on a couple of new jackets and cardigans, and Lowe's can't help me there. The sad reality of living in Southern Pines is that if you really need to shop for something good, you have to leave town, which I have happily done for over two years. When I need something I head up to Durham where I used to visit my good friend Christy (before she bought a one-way ticket to California), and now I simply visit Southpoint - one of the finer malls I've ever been privileged to shop in. For someone stuck in an area where Peebles is one of the only places to buy clothing, Southpoint looks pretty incredible.
Needless to say, there have been no trips to Durham so far this year. Why bother? But this past weekend Jonathan and I wanted to head up there in order to see our friend Sarah's art exhibit at a great new gallery in the city. And I had one purchase I needed to make at REI - the coveted bug spray that I needed for my upcoming trip to Costa Rica on Saturday, and I need only the best for that, because malaria is an annoying little problem to have.
So we geared ourselves up and headed to the "big" city for a night on the town, blind to the challenges we'd face. We made ourselves a dinner reservation for as earliest possible times at one of our favorite restaurants - 7:30pm. But by the time we got up there it was only 4:30, so we had to find three hours worth of activities. No problem. We slowly headed toward the gallery to see Sarah's ceramic show.
We loved her show so much that we commented that we'd be totally interested in buying a few of her pieces to have at our house. It took a minute before we realized we'd have to ask her to save us a few of them until next year when we could bring them into the house. Conveniently there were 100 pieces to one of her displays, so we're hoping to get lucky. Laughing as we realized our dilemma we enjoyed the rest of her show, and the proceeded to slowly stroll through the rest of the space in the building, dedicated to many different artists who's work we could admire as we walked around.
Sure that we had killed plenty of time we got in the car to go get the bug spray. 5:30pm. Seriously? That didn't even take us more than an hour?
We pulled out of the parking lot and proceeded to drive slowly through downtown Durham, which actually doesn't take very long. After a few more minutes it became alarmingly clear to us that if shopping isn't on the list of alternatives, we have absolutely no idea how to spend our time in Durham.
Now I'm sure that there is plenty to do in the fine city of Durham. And to be honest with you, it was a little embarrassing to not be able to think of anything. To fast-forward briefly to the end of this story, we went by our restaurant and scored when they sat us an hour before our reservation time. We ate and got the bug spray and headed home for an early bedtime - a must for me on a Saturday. So we dodged the awkward hour that would have been spent wandering aimlessly through REI with only bug spray in our hands. But even having dodged that bullet, it got me thinking.
This is actually reminiscent to me of the time I gave up my cell phone for a few years. It took a while for me to figure out how to function without it. How did people know how to find each other if they were supposed to meet up? How did you let people know you were running behind? How could you help yourself if you got lost? All of these very legitimate questions left me completely befuddled. What I learned, over time, was the value of planning ahead. Fascinating concept, I know. But it turns out if you have directions, make clear plans about where and when you will meet people, and give yourself the right amount of time to get someplace, then life is actually pretty manageable after all - even without a cell phone.
Perhaps we'll need to examine this idea in our travels. Since killing time in stores is not an option, we may want to consider some of the other things there are to do in the cities we visit. Maybe there are other museums or galleries to see, maybe we could call our friends and stop by and say hello, maybe we could go for a walk. I'm sure there are other things we can do with our time that might even be more fulfilling than shopping, but we'll have to put a little effort into it.
I think we're up for the challenge. In this amazing country we live in I'm thinking there are plenty of great things that we can see and explore and do. I just have to think like the Boy Scouts and be prepared. So watch out Durham - here we come!
Needless to say, there have been no trips to Durham so far this year. Why bother? But this past weekend Jonathan and I wanted to head up there in order to see our friend Sarah's art exhibit at a great new gallery in the city. And I had one purchase I needed to make at REI - the coveted bug spray that I needed for my upcoming trip to Costa Rica on Saturday, and I need only the best for that, because malaria is an annoying little problem to have.
So we geared ourselves up and headed to the "big" city for a night on the town, blind to the challenges we'd face. We made ourselves a dinner reservation for as earliest possible times at one of our favorite restaurants - 7:30pm. But by the time we got up there it was only 4:30, so we had to find three hours worth of activities. No problem. We slowly headed toward the gallery to see Sarah's ceramic show.
We loved her show so much that we commented that we'd be totally interested in buying a few of her pieces to have at our house. It took a minute before we realized we'd have to ask her to save us a few of them until next year when we could bring them into the house. Conveniently there were 100 pieces to one of her displays, so we're hoping to get lucky. Laughing as we realized our dilemma we enjoyed the rest of her show, and the proceeded to slowly stroll through the rest of the space in the building, dedicated to many different artists who's work we could admire as we walked around.
Sure that we had killed plenty of time we got in the car to go get the bug spray. 5:30pm. Seriously? That didn't even take us more than an hour?
We pulled out of the parking lot and proceeded to drive slowly through downtown Durham, which actually doesn't take very long. After a few more minutes it became alarmingly clear to us that if shopping isn't on the list of alternatives, we have absolutely no idea how to spend our time in Durham.
Now I'm sure that there is plenty to do in the fine city of Durham. And to be honest with you, it was a little embarrassing to not be able to think of anything. To fast-forward briefly to the end of this story, we went by our restaurant and scored when they sat us an hour before our reservation time. We ate and got the bug spray and headed home for an early bedtime - a must for me on a Saturday. So we dodged the awkward hour that would have been spent wandering aimlessly through REI with only bug spray in our hands. But even having dodged that bullet, it got me thinking.
This is actually reminiscent to me of the time I gave up my cell phone for a few years. It took a while for me to figure out how to function without it. How did people know how to find each other if they were supposed to meet up? How did you let people know you were running behind? How could you help yourself if you got lost? All of these very legitimate questions left me completely befuddled. What I learned, over time, was the value of planning ahead. Fascinating concept, I know. But it turns out if you have directions, make clear plans about where and when you will meet people, and give yourself the right amount of time to get someplace, then life is actually pretty manageable after all - even without a cell phone.
Perhaps we'll need to examine this idea in our travels. Since killing time in stores is not an option, we may want to consider some of the other things there are to do in the cities we visit. Maybe there are other museums or galleries to see, maybe we could call our friends and stop by and say hello, maybe we could go for a walk. I'm sure there are other things we can do with our time that might even be more fulfilling than shopping, but we'll have to put a little effort into it.
I think we're up for the challenge. In this amazing country we live in I'm thinking there are plenty of great things that we can see and explore and do. I just have to think like the Boy Scouts and be prepared. So watch out Durham - here we come!
Friday, February 5, 2010
What Not to Wear
In case you don't already know, tonight's episode of TLC's show What Not to Wear will feature the make-over of a young female Episcopal priest! That's right, Stacy and Clinton bust into an Episcopal church in... shoot, the Midwest somewhere, and take hold of the Assistant Rector, who works with a priest I know and respect very much. I mean, if they guy was excited about his fellow clergy person heading off to New York for the week to buy clothes he's got to be respectable, right?
Anyway, female clergy everywhere are rejoicing about this occasion as we have been wishing for this very thing to happen for some time. That said, I hold in my heart a hefty dose of jealousy that the priest in question wasn't ME. Who doesn't want Stacy and Clinton to come take over our wardrobes?
My witty friend Sarah, when I was sharing about my jealousy by email, astutely pointed out that had it been me, she felt like it might come into conflict with our little Stuff Stand-off. Very funny Sarah. And painfully true.
Truth is just this past week I've been daydreaming a bit about having some new work clothing - pants in particular - in my closet. You see, I have a couple of pairs of pants that are my old standbys, the ones I can be seen wearing at least once a week (and sometimes twice, I'm embarrassed to admit). And the old standbys are starting to look a little ragged. The black pair is faded, the gray pair is stained and getting kind of baggy, my khaki pair was very recently dried by my well-meaning husband, and my darker khakis have a hole in them right where you really don't want a hole but not on the easily-fixable seam. So you see what I mean? It's dire.
But of course, no pants for me. Instead after a couple of weeks of feeling progressively worse about how I look each day, I've been forced to consider if clothing is really the problem. Because actually, three of the four pairs of my 'old standbys' are relatively new. I bought them only months ago, and was so happy when I did. I was sure that these pants were the answer to my wardrobe woes, and I could make it happily through another year. But I think I might have overestimated the power of pants.
The more I think about, the more I realize that my problem isn't that I don't have just the right pants, sweaters, shirts, whatever. The problem is that I struggle with my self-image, which is an entirely different issue than having the right pair of pants. I compare myself to others constantly, and I can generally find something superior about the people I'm comparing myself to. They have great pants or beautiful hair or a better bone structure or they are thin and willowy... the list goes on and on. I've especially experienced this lately at the yoga classes that I've started attending. Yes - yoga - a meditative practice based on the principles of non-judgment and peace of mind - and I fill my hour there battling my brain which desperately wants to pine over what the other students look like while I struggle with my poses in my frumpy yoga pants. Wanting to avoid this dreadful comparison to others at this morning's class I moved to the front of the room up to the mirrors, so that the only person I could look at was myself. Interestingly, I found this to be challenging too because of the critical thoughts that I forced on myself throughout the class. Finally catching myself, I made eye contact with my image in the mirror, and sighed saying to myself (only in my mind, I promise): "Meaghan, you're okay."
The class got easier after that. I loosened up a bit, enjoyed the other people in the class, and tried to credit myself for the things I did well instead of berating myself for not being a pretzel who could wind my leg up behind my head (okay, truth be told we were only doing forward bends, but I can't really do those either). I imagine I am like countless others who began something like this and had to practice in order to get better - novel idea. I want to also consider that while I might get better, there might be some parts of yoga I always struggle with. And I might always - just a little - wish I could look like those tall, uber-thin, lanky girls that can bend and stretch as easily as I can emote. But I all I can do for now is recognize those thoughts when the come up and keep looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself I'm okay. Maybe someday I'll even be better than okay.
I left yoga and spent the day not shopping, and for the first time since this Stand-off began I think I can say with some certainty that had it not been for this project, I absolutely would have been shopping. Looking for the pants that would completely transform the way I think about myself. In other words, looking for something I could never find in a store.
I'll eagerly be watching What Not to Wear tonight, hanging on every piece of advice Stacy and Clinton dole out. And I'll be hoping, while I watch, that some kind of transformation actually does happen for the woman who will learn a new style of dress, as so often seems to happen on the show. But for myself, I will work on the kind of transformation that can't be had from a couple of new outfits. Instead I'll keep looking at that mirror - gray stained pants and all - and telling myself I'm okay. Maybe after 11 more months saying it, the idea will start to sink in.
Anyway, female clergy everywhere are rejoicing about this occasion as we have been wishing for this very thing to happen for some time. That said, I hold in my heart a hefty dose of jealousy that the priest in question wasn't ME. Who doesn't want Stacy and Clinton to come take over our wardrobes?
My witty friend Sarah, when I was sharing about my jealousy by email, astutely pointed out that had it been me, she felt like it might come into conflict with our little Stuff Stand-off. Very funny Sarah. And painfully true.
Truth is just this past week I've been daydreaming a bit about having some new work clothing - pants in particular - in my closet. You see, I have a couple of pairs of pants that are my old standbys, the ones I can be seen wearing at least once a week (and sometimes twice, I'm embarrassed to admit). And the old standbys are starting to look a little ragged. The black pair is faded, the gray pair is stained and getting kind of baggy, my khaki pair was very recently dried by my well-meaning husband, and my darker khakis have a hole in them right where you really don't want a hole but not on the easily-fixable seam. So you see what I mean? It's dire.
But of course, no pants for me. Instead after a couple of weeks of feeling progressively worse about how I look each day, I've been forced to consider if clothing is really the problem. Because actually, three of the four pairs of my 'old standbys' are relatively new. I bought them only months ago, and was so happy when I did. I was sure that these pants were the answer to my wardrobe woes, and I could make it happily through another year. But I think I might have overestimated the power of pants.
The more I think about, the more I realize that my problem isn't that I don't have just the right pants, sweaters, shirts, whatever. The problem is that I struggle with my self-image, which is an entirely different issue than having the right pair of pants. I compare myself to others constantly, and I can generally find something superior about the people I'm comparing myself to. They have great pants or beautiful hair or a better bone structure or they are thin and willowy... the list goes on and on. I've especially experienced this lately at the yoga classes that I've started attending. Yes - yoga - a meditative practice based on the principles of non-judgment and peace of mind - and I fill my hour there battling my brain which desperately wants to pine over what the other students look like while I struggle with my poses in my frumpy yoga pants. Wanting to avoid this dreadful comparison to others at this morning's class I moved to the front of the room up to the mirrors, so that the only person I could look at was myself. Interestingly, I found this to be challenging too because of the critical thoughts that I forced on myself throughout the class. Finally catching myself, I made eye contact with my image in the mirror, and sighed saying to myself (only in my mind, I promise): "Meaghan, you're okay."
The class got easier after that. I loosened up a bit, enjoyed the other people in the class, and tried to credit myself for the things I did well instead of berating myself for not being a pretzel who could wind my leg up behind my head (okay, truth be told we were only doing forward bends, but I can't really do those either). I imagine I am like countless others who began something like this and had to practice in order to get better - novel idea. I want to also consider that while I might get better, there might be some parts of yoga I always struggle with. And I might always - just a little - wish I could look like those tall, uber-thin, lanky girls that can bend and stretch as easily as I can emote. But I all I can do for now is recognize those thoughts when the come up and keep looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself I'm okay. Maybe someday I'll even be better than okay.
I left yoga and spent the day not shopping, and for the first time since this Stand-off began I think I can say with some certainty that had it not been for this project, I absolutely would have been shopping. Looking for the pants that would completely transform the way I think about myself. In other words, looking for something I could never find in a store.
I'll eagerly be watching What Not to Wear tonight, hanging on every piece of advice Stacy and Clinton dole out. And I'll be hoping, while I watch, that some kind of transformation actually does happen for the woman who will learn a new style of dress, as so often seems to happen on the show. But for myself, I will work on the kind of transformation that can't be had from a couple of new outfits. Instead I'll keep looking at that mirror - gray stained pants and all - and telling myself I'm okay. Maybe after 11 more months saying it, the idea will start to sink in.
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