I feel like I should mention that over the past month I've actually started to have nightmares about the Stuff Stand-off. It's not like you think - I'm not missing the shopping or anything. Oh no, my nightmares are that the Stand-off is over. Every time in the dream it's the end of the year, but we are exactly where we are financially right at this moment.
Part of what has been so great about this Stand-off is how much money we've saved, and we've really started to get into it. We've got some high hopes for how the rest of the year will pan out, and how much more money we might continue to save. So in my dream I'm all freaked out that we lost this great opportunity, and somehow we got to the end of the year without paying off some of the debt we'd hoped to pay off, and without saving the money we had hoped to save.
What I think is hysterical about this dream is the underlying assumption in my subconscious that as soon as January 1, 2011 hits I will start spending like a maniac. I had to wake up and remind my conscious self that just because the Stand-off will be over, I do NOT have to go back to spending like I did before it started. There's a novel idea: we can actually continue to be more careful and thoughtful about what we buy.
Maybe my subconscious will listen to my conscious self and I'll stop having those dreams. We'll see. In the meantime, I'm going to keep getting used to the idea that while our intentional year off will eventually end, there's a few lessons I might actually want to take with me when it's over!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Confession time?
There's just a few things that have come up over the last month that definitely toe the line of "cheating" as far as this little Stand-off is concerned, so in the spirit of full disclosure I want to go ahead and let you know about the items in question. Then, even if I've cheated, at least I haven't withheld information.
First: FLUXX
Fluxx is a card game that Jonathan and I were introduced to when we were out in Oregon for my friend Bingham's wedding. It's a wild card game, where the rules of the game and the object of the game are always in flux. It's incredibly fun and interesting, and unlike any other game we've played. We looked for the game before we left Oregon (this was the end of December) but couldn't find it, so we left promising ourselves that we'd order the game on line when we got home.
Well, obviously that didn't happen. We stopped buying things instead. But we don't know anyone who owns this game around here, and we've been desperate to play it. When my sister Kate and I saw each other last month, I saw Fluxx popping out of her bag. Pining for it, I picked it up and said to her, "don't you think you should give me this game so that Jon and I can have it, then you and Bill can buy Zombie Fluxx when you get back to Oregon?" I was playing with her... kind of. But I secretly hoped she would agree. She laughed and said she could do that, but then we lost track of the conversation and headed to the airport.
It wasn't until I had said goodbye to her and was standing at my gate in the airport that I looked down and saw Fluxx poking out of my purse now. My smart sister had slid it into my bag when I wasn't paying attention. (Oh, who are we kidding - I was probably in the bathroom.) Because she did it that way, there was no opportunity for me to have a guilt attack and say "No, no - we'll just wait until 2011." Would I have said that? I don't know. I think so. But lucky for me, there wasn't an opportunity. And now Jonathan and I carry the game around everywhere playing it at every available opportunity. We will get rid of something in the house in exchange, but I think is still a gray area. That said - we aren't giving it back. We freaking love this game.
Second: MULCH
After much hemming and hawing, we decided that we needed to buy mulch for the beautiful garden that we planted next year. It sure felt like we were buying something... but does dirt count as "stuff"? And ultimately, that purchase never even made it into the house. We just weren't sure how this one came down with the rules, but at the end of the day, we wanted to protect the investment we made out there last year. So there you have it. My garden is mulched.
Third: THE SWIFFER
One of the things I was most wanting to buy when we started the Stand-off was a Swiffer. We recently put in bamboo floors in our kitchen, and while they are extremely beautiful floors, they also show every speck of dirt that is on them. It drives me completely crazy. But we decided that we owned a mop, and a Swiffer wasn't a neccessity, so we'd wait until next year.
But then Jon's boss had a Swiffer wet jet that wasn't working properly, so he and his wife bought a new one. He told Jonathan we could take the old one, and I came home from work one day to find the thing in our front hall closet. Now we do have a rule about taking something from a friend second-hand, but the first part of that rule is that we have to really need said item, which is where this issue gets stickier. In fairness to me, I did pull out the mop to use it the other day and was disgusted to see that it was actually really dirty and probably in need of replacement. And I have been washing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees with paper towels and 409. So we sort of needed the Swiffer. But in order to use the thing we had to buy the pads that go with it. If we'd already owned the Swiffer, purchase of the pads would have fallen under the rule about replacing household things that we use. But as it stands, we did not own the Swiffer, and the purchase of the pads becomes and extra thing: more "stuff", if you will.
I tried to stay strong in Wal-mart last week, and when I was grocery shopping did not go down the mop aisle. But then, there I was, standing by the meat section and I looked to my right... the pads were RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME. I caved. I caved bad. And then I came home and isntantly slapped one of those pads on the bottom of that Swiffer and went to work. I'll tell you what... I might have been cheating - but it was glorious.
So there you have it. Those were the three issues in question. I hope you don't think I'm a total failure at my own Stand-off. I've otherwise stayed very strong. But I can't guarantee that there won't be a couple of other things like this that come up. When they do though, you can be sure I'll tell you about it!
First: FLUXX
Fluxx is a card game that Jonathan and I were introduced to when we were out in Oregon for my friend Bingham's wedding. It's a wild card game, where the rules of the game and the object of the game are always in flux. It's incredibly fun and interesting, and unlike any other game we've played. We looked for the game before we left Oregon (this was the end of December) but couldn't find it, so we left promising ourselves that we'd order the game on line when we got home.
Well, obviously that didn't happen. We stopped buying things instead. But we don't know anyone who owns this game around here, and we've been desperate to play it. When my sister Kate and I saw each other last month, I saw Fluxx popping out of her bag. Pining for it, I picked it up and said to her, "don't you think you should give me this game so that Jon and I can have it, then you and Bill can buy Zombie Fluxx when you get back to Oregon?" I was playing with her... kind of. But I secretly hoped she would agree. She laughed and said she could do that, but then we lost track of the conversation and headed to the airport.
It wasn't until I had said goodbye to her and was standing at my gate in the airport that I looked down and saw Fluxx poking out of my purse now. My smart sister had slid it into my bag when I wasn't paying attention. (Oh, who are we kidding - I was probably in the bathroom.) Because she did it that way, there was no opportunity for me to have a guilt attack and say "No, no - we'll just wait until 2011." Would I have said that? I don't know. I think so. But lucky for me, there wasn't an opportunity. And now Jonathan and I carry the game around everywhere playing it at every available opportunity. We will get rid of something in the house in exchange, but I think is still a gray area. That said - we aren't giving it back. We freaking love this game.
Second: MULCH
After much hemming and hawing, we decided that we needed to buy mulch for the beautiful garden that we planted next year. It sure felt like we were buying something... but does dirt count as "stuff"? And ultimately, that purchase never even made it into the house. We just weren't sure how this one came down with the rules, but at the end of the day, we wanted to protect the investment we made out there last year. So there you have it. My garden is mulched.
Third: THE SWIFFER
One of the things I was most wanting to buy when we started the Stand-off was a Swiffer. We recently put in bamboo floors in our kitchen, and while they are extremely beautiful floors, they also show every speck of dirt that is on them. It drives me completely crazy. But we decided that we owned a mop, and a Swiffer wasn't a neccessity, so we'd wait until next year.
But then Jon's boss had a Swiffer wet jet that wasn't working properly, so he and his wife bought a new one. He told Jonathan we could take the old one, and I came home from work one day to find the thing in our front hall closet. Now we do have a rule about taking something from a friend second-hand, but the first part of that rule is that we have to really need said item, which is where this issue gets stickier. In fairness to me, I did pull out the mop to use it the other day and was disgusted to see that it was actually really dirty and probably in need of replacement. And I have been washing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees with paper towels and 409. So we sort of needed the Swiffer. But in order to use the thing we had to buy the pads that go with it. If we'd already owned the Swiffer, purchase of the pads would have fallen under the rule about replacing household things that we use. But as it stands, we did not own the Swiffer, and the purchase of the pads becomes and extra thing: more "stuff", if you will.
I tried to stay strong in Wal-mart last week, and when I was grocery shopping did not go down the mop aisle. But then, there I was, standing by the meat section and I looked to my right... the pads were RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME. I caved. I caved bad. And then I came home and isntantly slapped one of those pads on the bottom of that Swiffer and went to work. I'll tell you what... I might have been cheating - but it was glorious.
So there you have it. Those were the three issues in question. I hope you don't think I'm a total failure at my own Stand-off. I've otherwise stayed very strong. But I can't guarantee that there won't be a couple of other things like this that come up. When they do though, you can be sure I'll tell you about it!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Missing my Crocs
This story actually begins back in January, on an uncharacteristically cold night for North Carolina, when Jonathan and I were driving home from the airport after a family vacation on the Oregon coast. Our flight didn't get in until midnight, and at that time I'm pretty sure they've only got one guy loading and unloading luggage, so it took us forever to get out of the airport. By the time we were getting close to home it was 1:30 in the morning - way past our normal bedtime. We were driving along chatting about nothing to pass the time when all of a sudden a young woman came flying out of the darkness towards the highway, flailing her arms and screaming for help. Jumping in our seats from the near heart attack it gave us, we took a second to get our breath back and pulled over to see what was wrong.
I know, I know, we were stupid to pull over, and we're lucky nothing happened to us. I tend to be entirely too trusting. On this particular night no harm came from my naivete, but I'll try to be more careful in the future. Anyway, the young woman on the side of the road had been in a friend's car with her boyfriend when an argument broke out, and the friend's solution to their argument had been to slow down on the side of the highway and push this girl out of the car with no shoes and no jacket. It was 24 degrees outside.
The very abbreviated version of this story is that we put the young lady in our car, and after some other adventures, she ended up spending the night in our guest room, as the keys to her apartment were still in the friend's car. Drugs and alcohol were certainly a factor in her evening, so the whole thing was pretty manic, but even despite that it was clear that this young woman was actually very likeable. After we warmed her feet in the bathtub, I gave her a sweatshirt and sweatpants to wear, which she swam in - she weighs about 90 pounds soaking wet.
The next morning we got to the business of finding her some help: buying her a toothbrush, connecting her with friends, trying to retrieve her stuff, etc. When we left the house, I grabbed my Crocs for her to throw on over the socks she was wearing. Any of my shoes would have been hopelessly large, so the lightweight slip on shoes seemed the most reasonable option.
Now, a word about my Crocs. I LOVE those shoes. I saw them on a waitress in Asheville two summers ago and promptly went home and ordered them on-line. The thing that makes them so great is that I can wear them to work in the warmer weather, but it still feels like I'm wearing my flip flops. Those Crocs liberate me somehow when I'm forced to dress like an adult on beautiful summer days when I'd rather be at the beach. They were my favorite summer shoe last summer. But two factors were in play when I gave them to this young woman that day. First, it was winter. We all know how hard it is to remember how much we value our summer attire when it's too cold to even consider wearing shoes with no socks. And second, a month prior to this event our washing machine had broken and a small flood followed in our garage. When Jonathan and I frantically picked up items off the garage floor and dealt with all that water, I had worn my Crocs. What better shoe to deal with flooding than a light plastic one? But I hadn't gotten around to caring for them after the flood. There was no rush, after all, because it was cold out. All of this is to say I had temporarily forgotten the importance of the Croc.
Fast forward to today. It's 80 degrees outside and beautiful. My summer work wardrobe is back in my closet, and I am avoiding wearing socks at any possible cost. Our winter guest is happily (I hope) settled back in her apartment and is living her life, and my sweathshirt, sweatpants, and Crocs, I presume, are in a pile somewhere in her apartment. And I, simply put, am desperate to have those Crocs again. When we said goodbye that day in January she assured me that she'd be in touch and return my things, but I knew I'd never hear from her. That would have been 6 days before Jonathan and I decided to do the Stuff Stand-off. At that point, I figured I'd have a good excuse to buy myself a brand new pair of my favorite Crocs.
Jonathan actually saw our friend the other day while picking up a sandwich downtown, and she asked for my number so we could have lunch and she could return my things. When he told me this, I grasped his arm. "Next time you see her," I begged, "tell her she doesn't have to have lunch with me. I don't feel like she owes me anything. But please... please ask her if I can have my Crocs back!"
I have little hope for their return. I imagine in the end it might be tremendously awkward for her to be in touch with me, as I think she associates me with one of the worst nights of her life - and who can blame her for that? And ultimately, I don't regret helping her that night. It helped me more than it helped her I think. But I can't help but hear one of my boss' little sayings in my head - shaking his head and laughing he'll often mutter: "No good deed goes unpunished, you know?"
You're not kidding buddy. I wish that young woman only the very best, and think of her fondly. But boy do I miss those Crocs...
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wet Shoes in New Orleans
I can't believe how long it's been since I've written a blog entry! I can assure you, lack of entries is not from lack of Stuff Stand-off activity, and is instead from lack of free time. Holy Week is a special time for us clergy (and I mean special in a somewhat sarcastic special kind of way), and the 16 church services (not kidding) that I took part in from Palm Sunday to Easter kind of ate up all my free time. Then first thing Easter Monday I jumped into a van with a bunch of youth group kids and a couple adult chaperons to head to New Orleans for a mission trip there. After New Orleans I had to sleep, go through caffeine withdrawal (ugh), and take care of a few things at work and home. I'm finally home for the morning with nothing on my agenda, and I am one happy camper. Blog time finally appears.
The trip to New Orleans was really good, as those trips tend to be. I'm pretty much in love with that city, and I encourage anyone who hasn't been there to make a trip. I mean, there's a few down sides to New Orleans - extreme drunkenness, debauchery, and excessive nudity to name a few. But if you can just look past that, you'll find a city full of culture, beauty, and - best of all - music. I'll go ahead and say that my time in New Orleans has been my biggest challenge to date in our Stand-off. I've been there four times and you would think that I would be numb to the countless stores in the French Quarter designed just for shopping tourists. But each time I go my love for the city grows, and so also grows my desire for the latest cute t-shirt, or for a brightly colored painting, or for a second Cafe Du Monde mug (the first of which I am about to fill with coffee). And this time Jonathan couldn't be with us on the trip, so I found myself really wanting to bring him a piece of the city when I came home. Since I couldn't shop, I ate. The French Quarter Festival was taking place while we were there, which offers visitors two incredible opportunities - music and food. While we listened to a variety of great bands I chowed down on food from all different vendors surrounding the stages. Crawfish pies, roasted oysters, veal and crawfish po boys, and fish tacos. YUM! I want to go back already...
That's not actually the story I wanted to tell you about though. I just can't help mentioning that when I'm talking about the city. We weren't there for the French Quarter (or the beignets) though Lord knows that's a bonus. We were there to help with the rebuilding effort that continues in all parts of the city after Katrina. We worked in a home in the seventh ward, laying insulation, hanging dry wall, mudding, laying sub floors, and more. It's a great experience for the kids, and I tend to enjoy myself as well.
Long work days make for stinky feet though, and so at the end of the long work day we discovered the best place for our shoes was the porch on the second floor of the beautiful home where we were staying. Most people would stick their shoes out for a couple of hours to air out then bring them in, but I found no reason to bring mine in. The weather was beautiful and even if it wasn't the porch had a roof over it. Why not just get my shoes in the morning?
Our third night there however, a might rain storm swept through the area. I laid in bed listening to the rain and enjoying it - I love a good storm. I never gave a second thought to my protected shoes on the porch. What I didn't realize about that rain that I was happy to listen to was that it was coming down sideways. The next morning when I went to the porch to grab my sneakers I realized they were soaked through. When I picked them up, there were actually puddles underneath where the sneakers were, even though everything else on the porch was already dry.
I had packed two pairs of shoes for the trip: my sneakers for work, and my flip-flops for everything else. There was no alternative to the sneakers. With ten minutes before we had to leave for work, I had to throw them in the dryer and hope for the best.
I spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out what to do. The closest shoe size to me on the trip was one of the boys, and I just couldnt' bring myself to wear a pair of oversized boy sneakers all day. I'm the type that would be completely distracted and annoyed by something like that. I obviously couldn't wear my flip-flops - they weren't even allowed on the site. And I couldn't imagine my sneakers being even remotely dry even after their time in the dryer. Deciding that my work environment needed to supercede the Stuff Stand-off, I decided to go with the obvious solution and run by Walmart for a cheap pair of sneakers to wear that day.
Just as I was about to walk out the door for the store however, I had something of a guilt attack. After all, wasn't this the entire point of my Stand-off? To find out what happens when I can't just run out to the store and buy something new? Even though it was a work situation, it was my own carelessness that got my sneakers wet in the first place. It's hardly the same thing as justifying the purchase of a book that I honestly need to use for my work. Besides, a pair of Walmart sneakers is hardly worth the breach in our agreement for the year.
With a sigh, I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed myself a couple of sandwich bags from the pantry. Taking my now-extremely-moist shoes from the dryer, I pulled the sandwich bags over my toes and slipped my feet into my shoes. With my toes protected, I wasn't as bothered by the damp shoes, and once I went inside and started working at the site, I hardly noticed that there was anything different.
In my line of work, we use the expression "this too shall pass" a lot as a way of bringing people comfort. Seems to me that expression can also be used when the urge to purchase arises. I was pretty convinced I needed new sneakers that morning, but by the end of the day my shoes were dry and it was the furthest thing from my mind. If I had bought those sneakers, I'd be one guilty feeling blogger right now. Instead, I'm just the proud owner of a very old pair of running shoes that have survived another week on a mission trip. Oh, and I survived the trip too. Hooray for me and my sneakers!
Me and Fritz, and the mask I did not buy...
The trip to New Orleans was really good, as those trips tend to be. I'm pretty much in love with that city, and I encourage anyone who hasn't been there to make a trip. I mean, there's a few down sides to New Orleans - extreme drunkenness, debauchery, and excessive nudity to name a few. But if you can just look past that, you'll find a city full of culture, beauty, and - best of all - music. I'll go ahead and say that my time in New Orleans has been my biggest challenge to date in our Stand-off. I've been there four times and you would think that I would be numb to the countless stores in the French Quarter designed just for shopping tourists. But each time I go my love for the city grows, and so also grows my desire for the latest cute t-shirt, or for a brightly colored painting, or for a second Cafe Du Monde mug (the first of which I am about to fill with coffee). And this time Jonathan couldn't be with us on the trip, so I found myself really wanting to bring him a piece of the city when I came home. Since I couldn't shop, I ate. The French Quarter Festival was taking place while we were there, which offers visitors two incredible opportunities - music and food. While we listened to a variety of great bands I chowed down on food from all different vendors surrounding the stages. Crawfish pies, roasted oysters, veal and crawfish po boys, and fish tacos. YUM! I want to go back already...
That's not actually the story I wanted to tell you about though. I just can't help mentioning that when I'm talking about the city. We weren't there for the French Quarter (or the beignets) though Lord knows that's a bonus. We were there to help with the rebuilding effort that continues in all parts of the city after Katrina. We worked in a home in the seventh ward, laying insulation, hanging dry wall, mudding, laying sub floors, and more. It's a great experience for the kids, and I tend to enjoy myself as well.
Long work days make for stinky feet though, and so at the end of the long work day we discovered the best place for our shoes was the porch on the second floor of the beautiful home where we were staying. Most people would stick their shoes out for a couple of hours to air out then bring them in, but I found no reason to bring mine in. The weather was beautiful and even if it wasn't the porch had a roof over it. Why not just get my shoes in the morning?
Our third night there however, a might rain storm swept through the area. I laid in bed listening to the rain and enjoying it - I love a good storm. I never gave a second thought to my protected shoes on the porch. What I didn't realize about that rain that I was happy to listen to was that it was coming down sideways. The next morning when I went to the porch to grab my sneakers I realized they were soaked through. When I picked them up, there were actually puddles underneath where the sneakers were, even though everything else on the porch was already dry.
I had packed two pairs of shoes for the trip: my sneakers for work, and my flip-flops for everything else. There was no alternative to the sneakers. With ten minutes before we had to leave for work, I had to throw them in the dryer and hope for the best.
I spent the next ten minutes trying to figure out what to do. The closest shoe size to me on the trip was one of the boys, and I just couldnt' bring myself to wear a pair of oversized boy sneakers all day. I'm the type that would be completely distracted and annoyed by something like that. I obviously couldn't wear my flip-flops - they weren't even allowed on the site. And I couldn't imagine my sneakers being even remotely dry even after their time in the dryer. Deciding that my work environment needed to supercede the Stuff Stand-off, I decided to go with the obvious solution and run by Walmart for a cheap pair of sneakers to wear that day.
Just as I was about to walk out the door for the store however, I had something of a guilt attack. After all, wasn't this the entire point of my Stand-off? To find out what happens when I can't just run out to the store and buy something new? Even though it was a work situation, it was my own carelessness that got my sneakers wet in the first place. It's hardly the same thing as justifying the purchase of a book that I honestly need to use for my work. Besides, a pair of Walmart sneakers is hardly worth the breach in our agreement for the year.
With a sigh, I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed myself a couple of sandwich bags from the pantry. Taking my now-extremely-moist shoes from the dryer, I pulled the sandwich bags over my toes and slipped my feet into my shoes. With my toes protected, I wasn't as bothered by the damp shoes, and once I went inside and started working at the site, I hardly noticed that there was anything different.
In my line of work, we use the expression "this too shall pass" a lot as a way of bringing people comfort. Seems to me that expression can also be used when the urge to purchase arises. I was pretty convinced I needed new sneakers that morning, but by the end of the day my shoes were dry and it was the furthest thing from my mind. If I had bought those sneakers, I'd be one guilty feeling blogger right now. Instead, I'm just the proud owner of a very old pair of running shoes that have survived another week on a mission trip. Oh, and I survived the trip too. Hooray for me and my sneakers!
Me and Fritz, and the mask I did not buy...
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