Scanners, Security, and my Grandma... oh my!

My grandmother turned 90 yesterday. She moved into a nursing home after a fall she had at home in December and it became clear she couldn't live on her own anymore. She's been dreading living in a nursing home for years now, but to be honest she's doing pretty well there. She's gained back some of the weight she had lost and loves having so many people to talk to.

Despite how well she's doing with the transition, after her fall I decided that it was finally time for me to head to Connecticut to see Grandma, and to spend time with my Aunt Pat, my father's only sibling still living in the area, and her husband. It had been over 15 years since I had intentionally traveled to Connecticut for more than a couple of hours to see my father's family there, so a trip there was long overdue.

While I was looking forward to seeing them all I needed a plan for my time with Grandma. She's an incredible lady - strong willed, funny, and still has all her faculties about her. But that said, the hours with Grandma can get a little long, and she has a tendency to slide into some conversations that we've had too many times to count over the years. No way could I spend two days in a nursing home with her without something to do. So after speaking to my Aunt Pat, I developed a plan to go through some of Grandma's boxes of old pictures that had been moved out of her house when she sold it. Even better, I decided to bring our scanner so that I could scan the pictures in and take them home with me that way, and make copies for my siblings. I've wanted to get some history on our family for a long time, and this was a great chance to see pictures and to have Grandma tell me some stories.

I didn't think much of packing my scanner for my trip until it came time to actually put it in a bag. The thing is HUGE, because - of course - it is also our printer. I had planned to pop it in my carry-on bag with my clothes, but was shocked to discover that it filled my carry on bag in it's entirety! With the suitcase open on the floor and the printer/scanner practically spilling out of it, my patient husband turned to me and said "is it really necessary to bring this?"

I wish I could tell you that I calmly responded to his query, but what happened next was a mild emotional breakdown on my behalf while I lamented about needing a plan for all that time with Grandma, and how important it was to scan the pictures in, and you just don't understand what it's like... and so on. Feeling weak and confused, I sauntered into the living room and turned on my computer, quickly bringing myself to Walmart.com to look at scanners.

Turns out Walmart has really small scanners that can be purchased for about a hundred dollars. Scanners that would easily fit into my carry-on bag and save me all kinds of trouble. I started scheming to run to Walmart, buy a scanner, and then leave it with one of my family members in Connecticut - like somehow that wouldn't be an infringement of the Stuff Stand-off. I was so close to jumping in the car and heading to the store, but in a moment of clarity I came to my senses. Or maybe Jonathan helped me come to my senses. Whatever it was, I went back to my suitcase and neatly packed a towel around my scanner, filling another bag with my clothes in it to check onto the plane.

In my previous life, I wouldn't have hestitated to go out and buy that scanner even though I had a perfectly good one that I could bring with me. Even though I really didn't have to bring a scanner to Connecticut in the first place. My stubborn desire to see my agenda through would have been more than enough motivation for me to make a (kinda big) purchase like that. I can't believe, in retrospect, how easy it was to convince myself that the money spent on a second scanner just for airplane travel would be worth it. And on top of all that, I thought it would be okay to cheat on the Stand-off that way!

I was glad to have the scanner in Connecticut in the end, even though I did feel like a complete moron pulling the thing out while I was going through security. My grandmother enjoyed going through the pictures with me, and I heard a lot of great stories. The thing I hate to admit is that my aunt and uncle actually sent the pictures home with me when it was all over, so the truth is I could have just scanned everything in at home. But let's be serious - who's got that kind of time? I can hardly find time to blog about the experience much less scan all the pictures in!

So I guess this kind of thing is what this Stand-off is all about - lugging your big old scanner/printer around the airport, through security, into the rental car, and towards your grandmother. Now that it's over, and my scanner and I are home, it doesn't seem like it was all that bad. And I'm not out a hundred dollars and the new owner of a small scanner that I wouldn't really ever use. And I have great pictures to show my friends and family. Still, I thought when I was finally tempted to cheat on the Stand-off it would be for something I really needed or wanted. But another scanner?! Come on now...

Grandma and Grandpa on their honeymoon, 1943.

Books

Of all the things I've missed buying since we started the Stuff Stand-off, books are actually the thing I miss the most. This was a surprise to me, because I might have otherwise guessed shoes or clothing. But it's books... books are what I long for.

I just love going to bookstores, particularly privately owned ones like The Country Bookshop in downtown Southern Pines. The Country Bookshop has older wooden floors that creak under your feet, and beautiful shelves that have books sorted by topics more specific and fun than just "fiction" or "biography". The staff is friendly and kind, the Girl Scouts sell cookies outside, and the doors are usually thrown open to let the warm weather inside. It's paradise there. I love to go in and pick up the books just to feel them in my hands. And then, after I've touched them all and felt the pages and read the slip cover, I choose one or two to buy and take home - a small piece of paradise on my bed side table. I just love new books.

Sadly, I ran out of my new books about a month ago. I had some that I hadn't caught up with, but when the Stand-off started I went ahead and read them. Now I'm all out. And I'm longing for a fresh new book, especially one of those ones where the pages are all floppy and they have that little jagged edge along the outside - do you know what I mean? They feel so good in your hands. But I can't have them. I go to the bookstore to visit my friend Bonnie who works there, or to buy Girl Scout cookies, or just to smell the place - but I cannot buy. It's killing me.

Trying to overcome my need for new books, I took a trip to the Southern Pines library today. I haven't gone to the library for something other than a specific school book or a book on cd for a road trip since I was a little girl. I thought I might discover that I actually love the library, and that there was a whole FREE world available to me at any time (or at least during their limited business hours).

Instead, to my dismay, I found myself a little overwhelmed there. When shopping for clothing, I'm much more likely to go to Ann Taylor or Banana Republic than I am to go to Marshalls or TJ Maxx. Even though I know I can get great clothes at cheaper prices at Marshalls, I can't hack the shopping experience. I don't have what it takes to go through rack after rack, pushing through the jeans I'd never wear to find the one pair of Seven's that I could never otherwise afford. I lose my patience in those stores, and I give up after lame attempts at finding something good. Other friends of mine come home with pieces that I all but drool over. But I don't know how they do it. And I can't seem to do it myself. No, I need a store where the clothes are begging for me to buy them. I need them to be laid out with pants and a necklace that would accent each piece. I need all the sizes for one shirt to be in the same color in the same place so I can find the very one I need without walking to another part of the store. I need the space between aisles and displays to wander and dance to the music that is playing in the store. I need it to be easy.

What I found at the library was an experience akin to being at Marshalls. Are there lots and lots and lots of great books that I can take home for free? Yes. Did I have the patience to wander up and down the aisles looking for them? No. How could I decide what book to take when I can't see the covers? If they are only in "fiction" how can I know really what type of book it is and whether or not I want to read it? And why can't I have access to all the new and pretty books that they have in the bookstore? Anything I find at the library has already been out for a while. It just wasn't new enough, or exciting enough. The books weren't begging me to borrow them the way the books in the Country Bookshop beg me to buy them.

Wanting to leave quickly (as is always the case at Marshalls) I went straight to the authors that I know I like and grabbed two books. Now I'll admit, checking them out was pretty cool now that there's a 'do it yourself' counter. And then I waltzed right out the door, nothing needed but my key chain library card. It is nice to not pay. But I'm still a little worried about my relationship with the library. I'm going to need to figure out a way to find the good books in there without getting lost and impatient. I'm going to have to find a better way, and learn to love the high shelves that go on and on and on. I'm not giving up reading for the year. So me and the library, we're going to have to work this thing out...

Rule #6

Well, it's time to enact rule #6. To refresh your memory, rule #6 of the Stuff Stand-off is that if we are given something by someone else that we want to keep, something already in the house has to go.

Over the last few weeks we've acquired some stuff. I've kept track of it here and there so we could be sure to get rid of some things, and it was nothing major. A ceramic pot that went with beautiful tulips, a Coast Guard sweatshirt from my sister which was given to Jonathan at Christmas but needed to be a different size (it came in the mail last week), and a couple of books that people gave me to read. We knew that the exchange had to be made, but we hadn't gotten around to it.

Then this past Sunday I was given a gift at church - a big gift. There's a local painter in town who had painted a picture of the Blessing of the Hunt, an Annual Southern Pines Thanksgiving Day tradition that I have been able to take part in over the last two years (the Anglican priest in town does the blessing). It's a totally cool event, with the local riders dressed in their red coats, and the hounds prepared to follow the fox scent, and hundreds of people there to watch the blessing and see the horses ride off into the woods. It's one of those quintessential Southern Pines events that you wouldn't find anywhere else, and it's one of the reasons I love it here so much.

Anyway, this artist's beautiful painting featured - you got it - me! So there I am with my hand raised in blessing and all the horses and riders and dogs gathered around me. It's a great piece, with vibrant colors and a gold frame. It's unlike anything Jonathan and I have in our possession. The piece was donated to the Penick Art Show, where the money for it's purchase would benefit residents at the nursing home who had run out of funds. I would have loved to have bought it, but besides remembering the Stand-off, it was outside of our price range. Instead I simply admired it from afar.

But my great friends and parishioners decided I had to have it, and presented me with it on Sunday. And I'm thrilled. This is the kind of thing that I'll cherish for the rest of my life. But now it was officially time to move some things out of our house.

So we did a little "spring cleaning" the other day, given that it was finally 70 degrees here. I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed going through our closets to see how much we had in there that had to go. And we only went through two closets! For the purpose of record-keeping, here's what is on it's way out the door:

- Sheets. We had five sets of sheets for beds that we no longer have - twins and fulls. I was keeping them for some reason. Just in case we got another full sized bed I guess. But we have a king, and our guest room is a queen, and there was just no reason to have all those sheets. We even got rid of a king and queen set that we know for sure will never be used again.

- Framed pictures. Since we got a framed picture, we figure it's time to let go of some. We have a small collection of framed pieces (mostly that belonged to my dad) that live in a closet in our study that will likely never hang on our walls. We keep them for sentimental reasons, or because we deeply love the people we acquired them from. But it's time. Time to realize that those pictures are not my father, and by giving them away I am not giving away my memory of him. I simply cannot carry a closet full of paintings to each house I move to.

- Board games. I wish I could say we made a huge sacrifice here, but we simply got rid of board games that we had multiples of, or that I had never even played and/or heard of. We had two of the original Trivial Pursuit games, and seven - that's right, SEVEN - Scrabble games. Two travel Scrabbles, an Onyx edition, a Super Scrabble, two regular red boxed Scrabbles, and one older version of Scrabble. We only got rid of one of them I think. I still have some work to do on letting go of Scrabble. No wait - we decided to get rid of two. Either way, it was good to cleanse the game closet, and actually with the sheets gone we were able to add the games to what has previously been the overflowing linen closet.

- A couple of throw pillows. We recently discovered that we have 13 spare pillows in our house, not counting the ones on our bed. I thought about keeping these particular throw pillows (from a couch we have given away) for meditation practice, but who am I kidding? If I need a pillow I have PLENTY of alternatives.

That's it for now. Probably I should get rid of one set of sheets at a time so I can stretch that over the year for any other gifts I get, but I think that might be cheating. So we're taking them all at once.

When I'm finished with this blog, I'll be going to get the painting out of the car and hanging it on my wall. Maybe I'll post a picture. I will love having it, and love knowing what I had to give away in order to have it on the wall. Maybe I'll even appreciate it more that way!

The Princess and the Pea

It's hard to believe I've just now found time to sit down and blog after my return from Costa Rica. Between the MCLC Spelling Bee and just catching up on things I missed while I was gone, it's been pretty busy. But I have found a quiet moment, and I'm grateful for it.

It's actually my return from Costa Rica that I feel deserves a blog entry at the moment. We had a wonderful trip, but I was VERY excited to be heading home, and had been looking forward to a night back in my big, comfortable bed for some time. The truth is, I'm a very finicky sleeper. Our bed is just the right amount of soft and firm. It is a king size bed, necessary because I have a tendency to kick my legs in opposite directions across the bed taking up an inordinate amount of space. A down comforter is a must, even in the summer which is ridiculous because it means I have to blast the air conditioning to sleep comfortably. My pjs are of the minimalist variety - no sweatpants or sweatshirts or anything - because if the fabric folds under me the wrong way I'm uncomfortable. I HAVE to have white noise or I can't fall asleep. And all this isn't even the worst part. The worst part is that I sleep with two pillows (soft and squishy) behind my head, one pillow on either side of me (of course Jon doesn't like this), and a rice bag over my head. Yes, I said rice bag.

I discovered years ago that if I have a little weight on my head it helps me to fall asleep. I think I first learned this while traveling with a snorer because I was actually trying to block out light and sound. So it started with a random sweatshirt, or an extra blanket. But I learned that what I really like is the weight of the thing, and if I'm tossing and turning on any given night I can treat my insomnia with a couple of articles of clothing piled on top of my head. Over Christmas, my sister gave the whole family hand-made rice bags that could be put in the freezer or microwave to treat aches and pains. Though that was obviously the intention for the gift, the minute I opened it I was overjoyed with the perfection of it's size and weight. This rice bag would revolutionize my sleeping time. Probably my sister should have told us she was pregnant (our other Christmas present) first, instead of warming us up with the rice bags. She had no way of knowing my future niece or nephew would be almost overshadowed by a rice bag. But there you have it.

All of this is to give you a sense of how much I was looking forward to my return from Costa Rica, when I would be reunited with my wonderful bed. As a side note, I tend to sleep fine on mission trips because I'm SO tired that when I crawl into bed at night nothing could keep me from sleep. That and there's something to be said for being physically removed from the piles on your desk at work. But in Costa Rica I had no access to extra pillows, air conditioning, white noise, down comforters, or any of my other fixings. All I had was my rice bag, which is so fabulous, among all the other reasons listed, because I can just throw it in my suitcase.

We didn't get home from Costa Rica until 2:30 in the morning, thanks to some lost luggage (DON'T WORRY - we have three other rice bags in the house!), so I practically limped to bed. Can you imagine my dismay when I tried to nesled down into my sleeping position and felt my legs brush against small bumps? Our sheets had PILLED!

Oh how I hate pilly sheets! I hate them so much that we went to great lenghts to avoid them, and purchased very decent sheets for ourselves when what I really wanted was to opt for the cheaper ones. This current set of sheets (there have been several sets) was proving to be almost perfect because they don't come up off the bed - another common problem of ours that drives me crazy. I never considered that they would pill.... I thought they loved me.

When I started this Stuff Stand-off I never, never considered that my perfect sleep arrangement would be in jeopardy. I was so happy with these sheets that I couldn't possibly see a break up in our future. No way would I want to replace them! But let me tell you, the first place I wanted to be that Sunday night - even at 3am - was Bed, Bath, and Beyond, buying an even better set of sheets.

Obviously, this cannot happen. Sheets, when we have many other sets, simply cannot qualify as a household neccessity, no matter how important I think sleeping is. It looks like I will have to - God forbid - come up with another solution. Maybe I can adjust to sleeping with pajama pants so that I don't feel the pills in the sheets. Maybe I can hand pick off each pill. Maybe I can rotate the sheet so it won't be as bad. I'll have to figure something out. January is still a long way away.

Even as I crawled into bed lamenting over the pilliness though, I had the harsh realization of what a luxury it is to have the bed I have, in the home I have, and to be able to fix it exactly to my liking - even when that means buying multiple new sets of sheets. What kills me about this Stand-off is how often I find myself embarrassed at the things that I "need". Here I am just back from Costa Rica where the children I spent time with delighted in a $1 coloring book and don't even have shoes to wear after school as they walk around a construction site, and I'm over here devastated that I can't buy another set of sheets. It makes me cringe.

But I guess that was the point. I wanted to do this to see what happened, and what I'm finding is a remarkable shift in my perspective. I can't believe how much I don't need. I'll go ahead and figure out another way to be happy in my already-fantastic bed, and to stop being such a pill.